yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
