I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
