Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
