if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
