no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize