dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I looked at my own cervix.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she smelled like a LAN party
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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