I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
