I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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