dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
be right there i have to get my cape
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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