Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
