you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize