Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
