He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
