finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
