grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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