What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
