it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
