You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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