I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
