What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
