your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
