The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
