You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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