I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize