I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
