i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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