his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
