I puked a lego.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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