Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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