yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
