shes about as inviting as chlamydia
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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