So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
