I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
