So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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