Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
