I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
