TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
