oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
