Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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