I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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