Can i not drive my cunt home
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize