youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
