Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
