let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
