Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
