You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
