Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
