i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
