woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize