Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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