Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
