I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
