Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
