brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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